Tuesday, June 24, 2008

In a Funk

My DH has not had any work for a few weeks. We had some money put aside, and he got a pretty good severance package, so we decided that we could spend the summer with him focusing on writing a book and me taking care of the kids. Come September, though at least one of us needs to get a job.

This is fine.

I'm kind of stressed out about what kind of job a woman who has never HAD a job for more than about 9 months at a pop can get. yes, I have a bachelor's degree, but it's in something that is worthless as far as job-getting skills are concerned, because the degree is 9 years out of date at this point.

However, the biggest thing causing me problems right now is my complete and utter lack of motivation. I have two sewing businesses. I have one non-time sensitive order, and a gift that need to be made, but I just cannot seem to get my act together. First it was because I was putting all of the stuff away in the basement, now it's my back is out.....what's next?? I feel like a lazy schlub.

Thursday is my kids' last day of school. After that, I am on full-time mommy alert, and I haven't gotten the things I need to do done. I was talking about making extra money this summer with my sewing, and I have done nothing. What's wrong with me??

I need to figure something out. Lazy-ass just doesn't suit me. Sewing is usually my therapy. Maybe it would give me some clarity as far as this job thing is concerned....maybe I'm purposely avoiding it?? I just don't know.

One thing I did think of today:

When I start getting overwhelmed, I tend to disengage.....I have been disengaged for weeks now, and whenever I try to get back into the swing, it's just too much. I know it's better to just deal with things, but I am overly caught up in the what-if's and What-are-we-going-to-do?'s when I sew is usually when I deal with things, but I have been not sewing because I jsut start to freak out.

Not a good mind set. I suck.

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