In a Funk

My DH has not had any work for a few weeks. We had some money put aside, and he got a pretty good severance package, so we decided that we could spend the summer with him focusing on writing a book and me taking care of the kids. Come September, though at least one of us needs to get a job.

This is fine.

I'm kind of stressed out about what kind of job a woman who has never HAD a job for more than about 9 months at a pop can get. yes, I have a bachelor's degree, but it's in something that is worthless as far as job-getting skills are concerned, because the degree is 9 years out of date at this point.

However, the biggest thing causing me problems right now is my complete and utter lack of motivation. I have two sewing businesses. I have one non-time sensitive order, and a gift that need to be made, but I just cannot seem to get my act together. First it was because I was putting all of the stuff away in the basement, now it's my back is out.....what's next?? I feel like a lazy schlub.

Thursday is my kids' last day of school. After that, I am on full-time mommy alert, and I haven't gotten the things I need to do done. I was talking about making extra money this summer with my sewing, and I have done nothing. What's wrong with me??

I need to figure something out. Lazy-ass just doesn't suit me. Sewing is usually my therapy. Maybe it would give me some clarity as far as this job thing is concerned....maybe I'm purposely avoiding it?? I just don't know.

One thing I did think of today:

When I start getting overwhelmed, I tend to disengage.....I have been disengaged for weeks now, and whenever I try to get back into the swing, it's just too much. I know it's better to just deal with things, but I am overly caught up in the what-if's and What-are-we-going-to-do?'s when I sew is usually when I deal with things, but I have been not sewing because I jsut start to freak out.

Not a good mind set. I suck.

Life.....

It;s been three weeks since DH's last day at his former job. He's been home writing a book. I am supportive of this, but it kind of has thrown off my routine. I am so far behind on my work and chores, it is ridiculous....add that to the fact that EURO 2008 has been goig on for the last few weeks, and my production level has been nil.

I need to get back to my work and to getting the house out of the sty state it has devolved to.

But hey, my sewing area is looking good. I'm jsut about ready to stat up sewing heavy again adn makign some money! woohoo!